i think now, it would be safe to allow myself to get excited.

i don't feel different. but tomorrow i will change.

there are only a few things i want for my birthday this year.

one is to actually celebrate it. i am almost 100% sure i would get to do that.

the second is to get accepted and be able to actually go.

i have no authority or power to ensure that either would come true.

all i can do is wait and brace my heart for the possibility of disappointment.

Today, I let go and let God.

All to myself
with a stranger
All to myself
to know
All to myself
in danger
All to myself
to show
Whose reflection is this in the mirror?
Whose shadow follows me?
Whose tears are these on my cheeks?
Whose pain is in my heart?
And yet... All to myself
to realize
All to myself
to feel
All to myself
to open my eyes
All to myself
to heal
So in the end,
There will be nothing left
Nothing left but me.

I haven't felt like I belong lately, except when I'm with you.