One thing I learned from the death of my best friend was that I should never lack the courage to say what I feel. The problem with that is I almost always explain myself wrong.

There’s this thing I’m facing right now. And I know I have to say what I feel. But I don’t know how. I’m too much of a coward to put a friendship at risk. I’m also afraid to let things go the way they’re going right now, just as much as I’m afraid things will change.

Yes, I am living in an abstract world.


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Tatit told me yesterday she wanted the old version of me back. I want her back too. But I couldn’t remember her leaving and how. So I don’t know where to look for her.

Somewhere along this whole struggle to exist, I lost this part of me that made me see life in colors that no one else saw. Everything now is in regular hues.

I’ve lost the passion for things that used to define me. And without that passion, I am no more.

Yes, I am living in an abstract world.


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When did things start to be this complicated?

When did I start to change?

This person I see in the mirror has grown and aged, but I don’t remember her. I don’t know her name.