... things i hate, some i loathe entirely

missed calls - if you're not gonna call for real, don't bother me... hehehe

dense people- like hello, my world isn't about you, it's about me! geesh!!

this group of guys who whistle everytime i pass by them on my way to work - get a life!!! i am not a dog...

hypocrites - don't we all just loathe them?

anyone who doesn't care about the environment - simply because i do and i don't get why they don't

anyone who makes my family or friends cry - i hurt when they hurt... so face my wrath! teeheehee

cussing - i don't cuss so don't cuss when i'm around or ahma smack you...

rude people - ako lang ang pedeng maging rude! hehehe...

low batt - deva? it always happens when i need my handy the most... vaket???

slow isp - hello! i pay, so please pakibilis... a snail walking in a rocky, bumpy road could be so much faster...

187 (used to be 114) - it's the only free service that pldt could offer... why charge us now? geesh...

being late - nakakahiya... i think being prompt is a sign of respect... so if i think ahma be late (rarely happens, promise) i always try to let the people waiting for me know in advance... hihiya ako eh...

people who make me wait - i think being prompt is a sign of respect... am i repeating myself? hehehe... don't waste my time.. i am very important and very beautiful *earthquake*

having a food craving that isn't answered - nakakabitin eh...

running out of money - which almost always conveniently happens when you need the cash...

ano pa ba?

i'll get back to you...

i'm a hater... hehehehe...

I believe that I have been a good girl this year, and every year before that, for that matter. I'm just not that humle. *hehehehe* I am almost done with my Christmas shopping and I got to thinking of what I would want to receive this year. Well, it doesn't really matter what they give me, it doesn't even matter if they give me anything at all. *friends, don't have any crazy ideas now* But, there are just things that would just be great if I get them.

1. CDs. I am starting my CD collection. A jungle girl needs to listen to something during those long days and nights in the mountain. If you're really as great as they claim you to be, you would know what kind of CDs I would want to receive.

2. field stuff. Give me anything I could use in the field. Any little ole gadget, or accessory. Give me nice, thick, soft not-black socks. Give me cotton long sleeved shirts. Give me nice caps or bonnets. Give me field pants. Be creative. What do you think I need in the field? Swiss knife?

3. sling bag. I dunno, for some reason I just want one. Is that bad?

4. books I love books. I would be much obliged if you could give me a one volume edition of the Lord of the Rings and The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde. It doesn't necessarily have to be those books, but those are the ones I'm looking for right now, and I can't seem to find. You can give me any other book that is not that thick and large because I would bring it with me on the field.

5. sneakers. I live by my sneakers. Sira na yung akin ngayon. Hu hu hu...

6. anything North Face. I'm not really brand conscious. But this brand is synonymous with mountaineering. So please, anything that is North face, especially a rucsac. My rucsac now is not water proof. *hint hint*

7. refill for my parker pen. I can't afford the refill. I suppose I can, if i don't eat and walk to and from work and don't use a single cent from my salary.

If I think of something else I'll just tell ya Santy ole pal!

Much love.

The little girl ranting.

We had a fun Sunday!

My mom's department had a family day. We spent the day island hopping. Well, more aptly, we were beach hopping between two islands. It was so much fun. We rented a boat, yung bangka ha, yung may katig and not the sosy kind.

The first thing that crossed my mind when we got to our first destination was, "golly! wala akong camera!" Hang ganda talaga! I went crazy swimming, snorkelling, eating and riding the boat. Well, I think we all went crazy. I am so sun burnt! But I love my bathing shoot line... Teeheehee... Too bad I can't show it off at work! Baka pagalitan ako ng boss if I wore something that showed a little more skin than usual.

But back to reminiscing... We saw tons of colorful corals and sponges. There were starfishes na iba't ibang kind, and sea urchins and brittle stars and alangan, fish! I even got to see a couple of sea snakes! Wowsie talaga! A biologist's paradise!

One of the places we went to had three connecting caves... Kewlness but sumkina dark and malamok ha... but kewl nonetheless.

My younger brother, Lance, and I decided to scale the wall of the cliff. Ala lang. We were scaling with the Theme from Mission Impossible playing in our heads. And then *plak* ummm... wrong sound effect... *splash* tumalon si Lance sa may pool. Hmmm... how do I explain the pool? Basta, it's between two atolls. umm... An atoll is a coral island... ayun, so may pool dun! And then *kablog* tumalon din ako! Wowsie! Andun pala si Nemo nakatira eh. *I wish I had a water cam* It was really awesome in it's awosomeness... It’s like the Edsa of fishes. There was even a school of fish that was in a ball, literally. And when the tide comes in, the ball separates, and when it goes out, ball ulit! Ang saya saya!

The last place we went to is called Wishing Well. It was a rocky island that is medyo mataas. Some person developed it but it’s now abandoned. There were two old slides. And Lance, being the crazy guy he is, tried the slide. Ayan tuloy! Now you’re stuck down there! Swim to the other side na lang! Hehehe…. Kaya naman niya. But I saw an old rope and threw it down to him. Eh di mas enjoy… carrying the tune from MI again.

I really wish I brought along my camera. I shouldn’t have believed my tatay when he said that it would get wet. Ang laki ng bangka noh! Pede siyang dry duon. Words are not suffice to capture the beauty. Ha basta, serena ako!

I'll see if I can borrow pictures from my mom's officemate. But I doubt she took pictures of the scenery.

It was fun! We're gonna do it again this January for my folks' 25th Wedding Anniversary! They're gonna renew their vows in front of the cave. AMANDA!! Punta kayo dito!!!!!!

*muah*

I had an awesome time yesterday. I went out with my work mate, Tatit. We ate Persian kabab (love that stuff). Then we went to *bleeped for security reasons*. hehehe... We went to this store, I was buying Christmas gifts and she was just looking around and helping me decide as well. Then we went to the mall. We just walked aimlessly around while I was waiting for my parents and she was waiting for her friends. It was fun! But it also reminded me of how much I wanted to go out with my best friends. Oh well, life's like that.

We watched Masters and Commanders. It was good. It was a nice break from too much CGI. I'm thinking of reading the novels once I'm done reading the Lord of the Rings.

Oh Riya and Denise!!! Can you buy me a one volume book of the Lord of the Rings? Or buy me The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde. Please... Merry Christmas niyo na sa akin. Ala dito sa Davao eh. Padala niyo na lang kay mama. hehehe... Demanding noh? *muah*

Today: I'm hungry. Feed me.

Philippine Eagle Foundation, good whatever-time-of-the-day-it-is!


"The world's noblest flier..." - Charles Lindbergh

I am dreading the coming holidays! I miss my Lolo Fred. He died last September 29. I'm not entirely sure I am over grieving. I know it's been almost two months now, but every time I remember, my heart aches all over again.

I have spent almost every Christmas and New Year of my life with my grandparents. Well, except for one New Year that I spent at Los Angeles, and two Christamses and New Years we spent here in Davao. I've always remembered my Lolo Fred being there.

I have three sets of grandparents. My father was adopted by his aunt. I have, so far, buried three grandfathers. Each time it's painful. But I am closest to my Lolo Fred. Now Christmas is coming, I almost hate it.

When I was making my Christams list, I put Lolo Fred's name without thinking. Then, as expected from my fragile heart, I cried. I sometimes feel it's unfair that other people still have their Lolo's and I don't. I get so jealous of all those little girls walking gaily, holding their Lolo's hands. I miss that. I know I'm already 21, but I still love to cuddle at my Lolo's feet and just talk to him. I had visions of having Lolo Fred at my wedding, I even wanted him to give his blessings first to my yet-to-arrive-love-of-my-life. Now, their just dreams shattered.

I know God willed for Lolo to die. It just simply is his time. And I know my Lolo is happiest now in the fellowship of God. At least in heaven, he doesn't have to deal with his gout, or irregular heart beats. He won't need the oxygen tank anymore, no need to measure blood pressure, no more medications. But I want to be selfish, I want my Lolo to embrace me again. I want him to call me and ask me when I will visit him in Manila. I want him to ask me to cook for him, or to massage him, or just simply to talk to him.

Goodbyes always hurt, especially when there's no promise for the next hello.

I miss my lolo.


These were taken December 31, 2001. It was before my lolo got sick. In the first photo, we have my mom (with the short hair) beside my Lola Sylvia. Then there's Lolo Fred, Tita Susan, and part of Tita Lou. There's my cousin Timothy, me, my very beautiful cousin Amanda (not Moore daw), and my younger brother Lance in middle.

In the second photo, you can see my cousin Joshua, who was hidden behind Timothy in the first picture. You can also see all of Tita Lou this time. Amanda is still pretty even with her face distorted. Hehehe...

Come to think of it, maybe it won't be a bleak Holiday. It's just going to be different. It's still the Big-Crazy-Family-minus-one.

I miss my best friends. I am always jealous of people who can hang out with their best friends any time they want. Sometimes, I think those people are following me where ever I go just to tick me off. Talk about paranoid huh? I hate being an hour forty plane ride away. Add the PhP7,000++ price tag that comes with it.

It took a while before I found my best friends, Riya and Denise. But when God gave them to me, they were more than I could ever hope for. It truly makes the wait worth it. Sometimes I feel like I cheated everyone else because I get to call them my best friends.

*sigh*

I still miss them. And I love them to pieces. Masakit ba? I would give anything to spend a moment of nothing with them. Ok. I don't want to be depressed.


Here is a picture taken back in September 3, 2000. They went to Davao to spend my debut with me. I didn't have the cotillion thing. I had my best friends with me for three days. We slept at Apo View Hotel. And almost wrecked the room, like true blue rockers that we are. hehehe The picture was taken after our overnight stay at Paradise Islands and a few hours before they left for home.

I woke up at 3 in the morning. My shorts felt wet. True enough it was. It was wet with blood. The curse is back to haunt me again! (Hehe.) See how comfortable I am with my gender? I can talk about menstration online. Just don't force me to act all girly. Anyway, as I was washing my soiled panty and shorts (do we need a censor?), my sleepy head got to thinking how unfair it was that only women have to go through with this. By this I mean the whole stained panties-cramps-mood swing-napkin rash thing. It's unfair isn't it? Only women who get pregnant too. Sure it was funny watching now Gov. Arnold Swarchenegger go through pregnancy in Junior, but let's face it, it's only a movie.

Truth be told, women go through more hardships every day than men. I am not being a man hater, nor am I pronouncing women as the superior sex. It's all facts. Men don't have menstration. They don't know what we're talking about even if they are now popular endorsers for panty liners and napkins. My mom would always say that women's tolerance to pain is higher than men's. It's true. You try having a baby go out your vagina and tell me if that doesn't hurt. Yet there are mothers that have more than 10 children. They bore each and every one of them. Oh, and by the way, haven't been pregnant and I am proud to be a virgin.

Darn it, I lost my point altogether.

*drift*

I guess I'm just ranting, not exactly complaining, just thinking out loud. I came across this quote at http://www.sullivanet.com/misc/looneybin/deep.htm, "Yes, God created man before women, but you always create a draft before the final masterpiece. Three cheers for girl power!


This is a picture of me (the girl in the middle, fatigue pants, spag strap top, black bonnet) and my work mates, along with representatives from PNOC. This was taken back in July 29. It was our first day at Mt. Apo. We were just preparing to set up camp. Did you know that it was an incredibly stupid idea to wear that top to Mt. Apo? I was so cold, plus the fact that it was also drizzling a bit when we were unpacking. But still, I loved every moment of it. Just wanted to share it, that's all.

While I was cleaning my parents’ bathroom this morning, (Yes, I clean bathrooms. Believe it!) I started thinking of tips or suggestions that might be useful for next time. Here’s what I came up with.

1. Obey your mom right away. Doing the chore is inevitable anyway, especially since your father was present when the order was given to you.
2. There’s no work out like cleaning the bathroom. If you close the door, you not only have a work out, you’re working out in a sauna.
3. Try to be ambidextrous when scrubbing. You don’t want a worked out right arm and a flabby left. Best when right arm used for cleaning the wall, left for floor. Take my word for it.
4. Do not, and I say again DO NOT wear your favorite shirt or shorts while cleaning the bathroom. Believe the Clorox label when it says, “whitens.”
5. DO wear a plain white shirt and short or any other shirt or short you’re willing to sacrifice.
6. Tie back your hair. Have you ever seen Samara/Sadako come out of a bathroom? She didn’t come out of the well until some years after.
7. READ the labels. There’s nothing like following instructions.
8. I don’t mean to advertise, but JML’s product, Spotless, works! It takes a couple of tries though, but it’ll get the job done.
9. If you can get your hands on that product they sell in the Home Shopping Network, Restore something, get it! I’m not sure it works, but their demo is quite convincing. The mind of the couch potato attacks!
10. It is unwise to use your feet for cleaning. Keep in mind the phrase, “slippery when wet.”
11. Although it is very tempting, you can not use your brother’s toothbrush to clean the bathroom. You’d end up scrubbing in vain. You need a hard bristled brush. Besides, keep in mind all the bacteria that your brother’s toothbrush has. Do you really want that in your hands? Which reminds me…
12. … use gloves.
13. Oh! If you’re planning to extend your work out, you may use your brother’s toothbrush. *insert spine chilling laugh with a very bloodthirsty evil grin*
14. Make sure that the brush you took from the laundry room is clean. Remember you used it to clean your mud covered hiking boots.
15. You will feel frustrated if you count the number of tiles so don’t. The wall will end.
16. Flush the toilet before uncovering it. You’ll never know what price-less treasure you might uncover.
17. Dry the walls. Well, not actually bone dry. Just wipe of the water drops. Water stain is a killer.
18. Try doing the chore with a smile, you’ll have less wrinkles.
19. Distract yourself by thinking up of tips or suggestions for the next time you clean the bathroom.
20. Think of ways to punish your brother when he gets the bathroom dirty right after you clean it.

Above all, be proud of yourself. You’re helping out at home. It’s a good thing. Think of it as keeping the integrity of family values.

After finishing a very hearty lunch, I, along with Namie and Ate Ara (work mates) headed back to the office. When we got there, we realized that the office was locked. As if through divine providence, Namie had her office keys with her. They gave the keys to me, knowing that I was brawny and that opening the lock required some brawn, and I tried my best to open the lock. I was turning, and pulling, and pushing, and struggling, but it won't open. Finally, Melvin (the janitor) came around and took the keys and opened the lock. Alas! I was turning the keys the wrong way! Stupid huh? I was following Ate Ara's and Namie's directions when I was the one holding the keys.

It was really funny. However, I realized that there might be more to it that a demonstration of my stupidity. Something philosophical, perhaps, life changing. I started thinking, keeping in mind it is a dangerous task, what if mistakes like turning the keys the wrong way can change your life? I mean, sure, now you can say "No harm, no foul." But what if it's something with more brevity?

We always use doors and locks as a metaphor to chances in life, or to life itself. When something doesn't go our way, we say, "When one door closes, another opens." We sometimes forget that doors have locks. Maybe, we have the keys to all the doors that closes. We just turn it the wrong way.

When I was turning the key, I felt like I had to try turning it the other way. I never came around to doing that, obviously. I was satisfied with listening to the advice of the people who are standing behind me. But I was the one with the keys. I was satisfied with thinking, "Maybe it's just really too hard for me to open." I gave up.

Maybe in all those other times when the opportunity just seems to miss us, we were just turning the keys the wrong way. Maybe we just didn't listen to what we heard in our "inner self."

Looking at my life as a Christian, I'm beginning to think that there are ocassions as well when I just didn't turn the key the right way. I let the world dictate to me how I'm supposed to open the door when that door was to my life. I didn't listen to the Holy Spirit telling me to turn it the other way. Lord, help me to listen to the Holy Ghost more. Help me to heed to the Holy Ghost's directions.

If not being able to open the door due to stupidity was funny, if it applies to my Christian life, I don't think God is laughing. The devil might find victory in it. Why should I help him?

I'm not turning on my *religious* mode. I'm not quite convinced that religion will do me much good. I believe in the relationship with God. But I just saw the opportunity to find a lesson from something simple. Not all lessons are hard learned anyway. Besides, if I had to get hurt to learn, I won't enjoy learning.

Ok. I am officially pissed!

This is the nth time I have been trying to post a blog. All I wanted is to post something. It's all I ask. No harm comes out from it. But why oh why delilah has this computer frozen and restarted a gazillion times. And always when I am ready to post. Why? Xanga must be so angry at me.

Now I can't remember what I wanted to say. This is so sad. And I thought Fridays are supposed to be fun.

Oh well... Life's like that. Things don't go the way you intend them too. However, in my experience, when things don't go my way, they usually go God's way and everything becomes better.

Take for example my plan for my life. I planned to be a pilot, carefully choosing a four year course that would keep me interested as I pursue my diploma. I was gonna use my diploma as an easy ticket to officer-hood in the Air Force. But when I was about to take the entrance exam, I was told I was a quarter of an inch short. I am not! But hey! It was an IQ exam, what has my height got to do with my IQ? Must be a new theory. With a broken heart, this little piggy, or shall I say, shorty, cried all the way home.

So I thought, maybe I'm supposed to be a doctor. The course I took to supposedly carry me through to the Air Force was Biology after all. My NMAT score was above average. I thought I could definitely get into any school I wanted. But no. Again, disappointment. More tears shed.

Now, I am a field biologist. Turns out, it is exactly what I wanted. I didn't even break a sweat to get it, too.

So bring on your worse! I am hard core! I am stubborn! And I have arrived!